Now don’t get all serious on me about this blog. Yes, the tone is a bit more serious than usual, but some of my intentions in writing this were more on the funny side as I chat about it with my friends and family.
Are we in limbo?
The definition of LIMBO according to Wikipedia: (I’ll take letter C. or D. please)
a : a place or state of restraint or confinement
b : a place or state of neglect or oblivion <proposals kept in limbo>
c : an intermediate or transitional place or state
d : a state of uncertainty
I ask this because everyone I know right now (including myself) is in this incessant waiting game. Waiting for employment. Waiting to start cancer treatments which will turn in to waiting to rid their bodies of it. Waiting for their home to be foreclosed on. Waiting to buy a home. Waiting for lawsuits, medical diagnosis, loved ones to fight their addictions, finishing their Master’s degree, for a divorce to be finalized, for finances to get better after a bankruptcy, etc, etc….Waiting for life to become “perfect”. Waiting, waiting and more waiting…with a side of waiting.
Yesterday morning I got a dose of perspective when one of my FB friends, whom I don’t know personally, lost her battle with ovarian cancer. She was a young mother and fought that cancer with the strongest determination. Of course I looked at HER battle from the outside looking in…but I was in the battle with my sister. My family and I fought that battle as much as we could with her and so much of those 13 months were spent WAITING. With biopsies, surgeries, tests, MRIs…we were constantly waiting for good news that we never got. Natalie’s battle ended after a short 13 months, but that was when the rest of the family’s battle continued. We’ve grieved going on 5 years and it’s a continued longing for her to be back here to mother her children, to hear her on the other end of the phone, to feel her grab at my arm and fall in to me while she’s laughing with the occasional snort.
It was the same with Jen. She went through clinical trials that people held fundraisers for and she tried every option imaginable to survive, flying all over the US to different experts. She was determined. And now her battle is over after 14 months of an emotional and physical roller coaster, with her family now having to grieve the loss of her.
Why are some battles short, yet grueling and end early in life while others are drawn out over years and years, only to end the same way?
Are we here on earth to try and see how we handle life’s circumstances? To show God that we are strong and continue to grow in faith and follow the pursuit asked of us in order to make it in to heaven?
Why are we (humans) so fixated on the better picture? No, not bigger, but better. When will we get there? And when we’re there, will we even know? Will we sit back with pure joy and say, “I’m FINALLY here!!”? Or is that saved for the day we enter heaven?
Are those that leave earth early the lucky ones? The ones that are finally in the place that we strive to be in, but takes us possibly 90-100 years to get to? After that many years, the amount of sadness you will have endured in one lifetime is almost unfathomable. I look at my grandmother who lost 2 children in their adolescent and teen years, her parents, her husband, two grandchildren, one great-grandchild, a child in adulthood, a brother and a sister and numerous other factors that have caused her strength and faith to be tested, yet she remains solid and continues going about her days BECAUSE of her faith just knowing that one day she will be reunited with everyone…
I don’t mean to sound morose, because honestly it’s quite opposite. I’ve just been thinking through my personal waits (which are truly nothing major) and wondering if Tom and I should just move our family to a small town in Spain. Live humbly for the next 60 years and enjoy the heck out of this life that we have where I can say, “Wow, we made it to absolute happiness!”
Just wondering if this journey we’re on should be less of striving for great, better things and more of sitting back, enjoying the life that God has given us.
Food for thought.
Now I must get back to dealing with this real estate website that is going on 6 weeks to be developed…guess I’ll have to WAIT and see if it will be worth it. :)