When I think of how people SHOULD be living with an economy the way it is, I can’t help but wonder how all of these higher-end boutiques on every corner stay in business. I’ve gone in to some of them in Boca Park out of curiosity trying so hard not to make it obvious when I lift the price-tag on things(I think it’s bad etiquette or something?), but when all I hear are crickets chirping because I’m the only one in the store, it’s a little hard to not be noticeable. And as I pass the counter and walk straight to the back to browse the teeny-weeny sale rack I feel judging eyes upon me by the sales clerk. But it’s alright because I’ll be damned if I pay $60 for a tank top with a shiny emblem on it. Ridiculous. The clerk knows I’m in the wrong store since she judged me on the first price-tag I gently put down while I formed the word ‘wow’ with my lips and as I mosey on out she doesn’t even ask me if there’s anything she can help me with. So I get back in my 7 year old car that smells of citrus air freshener covering up oldness and drive around the corner to the Target where I feel so much more at home. As I purchase my Mossimo T-shirt for $7, I smile. Who cares that in a month the t-shirt will form one or several tiny holes right at the waist? I’ll still wear it.
The other day I had some friends over and they complemented me on my jeans. The proper thing to do is of course say ‘thank you’, but instead I over-shared as I usually do saying, “$6 on the clearance rack at the Gap!” I am excited about my newest favorite jeans and I want to tell the world about them! So I continued telling them about how they were from the clearance rack and as I tried them on I realized the reason for the $6 price tag; they were made for a woman who was 6 and a half feet tall. But I knew that at that price I would find somewhere to wear them; or cut them to shorts; or donate them. No way was I leaving without those $6 jeans. And to my surprise, the first wash shrunk them up to the perfect fit. And that is why I share the price and story with everyone who says something about them, which has been quite a few! However, I tend to share the price of just about everything I buy. Last Fall I was on a mission to find some nice boots I could wear with anything and since I had been wanting them for a couple of years I figured I’d look in the higher end stores for a really badass pair. Well, to my dismay there aren’t very many boots that look nice on super ridiculous chicken legs and I ended up throwing in the towel with a realization that I needed to start doing more calf raises. Then my mom sees a pair through the window of a shoe store and the boots had ADJUSTABLE buckles to fit everyone’s calves!! Sun shined on my day and because of how inexpensive they were I ended up getting them in both black and brown. Score! I have gotten more compliments on them than any other item I’ve owned so when someone says, “CUTE boots, Serena!” I over-share yet again, “Dude. You won’t believe it. I got these at ROBERT WAYNE for $29.99!!” Did they ASK me the price? No, but I feel it was my duty as a thrifty shopper to share my exciting find.
Just like for Christmas this year. Tom’s “gift” or more like “verbal voucher” was a free pass to go shopping (within reason, he added). I do believe that was his last minute idea once he realized after wrapping the gifts that I had one lonely little present under the tree amongst several for the rest of the family and he felt bad. So, December 26th I sat staring at the computer trying to decide if I wanted more bang for my buck or just a couple of nice items…well, since I’m not a shopper I chose quantity over quality since I wasn’t sure how long it would be until I had that opportunity again. Next dilemma was waiting for my Facebook friends to tell me where to go since I like to run everything by 375 people before I make a decision that big. The winner was my friend who suggested Kohl’s since she also posted a coupon; HECK YEAH! Is Kohl’s the most FAB place to shop? Who the heck cares? I tell you what, there were no crickets chirping in THAT store and people were flailing their coupons and Kohl’s cash happy as can be….and I felt the same. I enjoyed every second of the 4 racks holding Lauren Conrad’s line. Have you seen it? The girl’s got STYLE man, and thanks to her I feel I do, too. Someone at my daughter’s school said, “Love your cardigan, Serena!” Once again…”You know the show The Hills? Remember Lauren Conrad? It’s from her line at Kohl’s and was like $17.99!” I know, I know. I need to stop with the over-sharing, but LC rocked my socks!!
But I have to admit that I have a HUGE double standard when it comes to sharing the prices on things. For instance, a while back my good friend and I went to a pool at one of the hotels just to lounge out. Not something we do…well, ever again since that one time. Anyway, as we laid out our things we realized we were placed next to the most obnoxious group of true Vegas idiots. You know the ones who never grow up and love to feed off of each other’s shittiness? Not to mention, they brought their kids to be witnesses to it all. After my friend and I shared a few ‘wtf’ glances at eachother, they started packing up their stuff. One of the boys ran in the opposite direction and his mom yells, “Get the F&@% back here you F^&*@%# idiot!” This boy is about 3, MAYBE 4. She must have seen our faces because she said, “You’ll understand when YOU have kids!” As much as we were flattered by the thought that we still possibly looked too young to have kids, we were also shocked and both replied in unison, “We each have two.” “Then you understand.” silence. I mean, what do you say when you know you’ll never see this twit again? Soon after, she brings her stroller over to the front of our lounge chairs for who knows what reason other than to entertain us, I guess. And as she’s complaining the whole time while packing up the stuff for her little baby she proceeded to share in her crappy way as she strategically places her hand on her arm where a boulder resides on her ring finger. She wanted to make sure we saw it in case we missed it the first few times she flailed it around, “(sigh) This stroller is f*@%#$^ stupid already. It cost us over a grand for this and I can’t even get the bag underneath it. I mean, it’s like the Maserati of strollers you guys.” Uncomfortable silence, yet again. We look at each other wondering if the other one was going to say something back. Did she want us to marvel in all it’s glory? Say, ‘Oh my gawd, you are SO totally rich and fabulous! That just completely wiped away the fact that you called your son a F&@%^$ idiot two minutes ago! You are amaaaaAAAAaazing!!!!!!!” But we didn’t. And as her entourage of douch baggery walked off with all the kids crying, we couldn’t help but laugh and wonder, “Are some people REALLY like that???” My answer: Yes, yes they are. At least here in Las Vegas there are definitely people that fall under that same category of Narcissism.
So if you’re at a party where everyone around you has a Gucci or Louis Vuitton duffle bag they use to carry their phone and lip-gloss and you’re feeling inadequate with your COACH, just invite me over. I’ll show up with my GAP clearance bin wristlet and tell everyone who even glances my way where I got it and how much it cost me ($9.99). That’s my favor to you and you’re welcome for that.