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30 is the new 70

Since hitting 30 two years ago, I know two things to be true: I am finally comfortable in my own skin; and that skin is acting like a real bitch. And most recently like a real bitchy teenager.

What happens when that birthday comes around? Yes, I feel more confident and could care less what others might think of me, but I also find myself complaining about things I used to correlate with being “old”.

“Ugh, my neck feels like I got whiplash.” “My hips feel like I just gave birth.” “Another freaking pimple?!?” “My eyelashes are starting to fall out!!” “Why can’t my right knee straighten all the way?” “Where is all this nose hair coming from?!?” “Dude, this shoulder keeps popping so loud when I lift it and it feels like it just popped out of it’s socket!”

Due to my recent breakouts, I am now using honey on my face. Yes, honey. I tell you what, regardless of the 7 boils that appeared immediately after, I am pleased to say that my face is starting to look better than it has since I hit 30. I’ll let you know if that continues OR if ‘Crunchy Betty’ (the site I got this info from) is full of granola along with shit.

And when I stretch in the mornings these days it sounds painful with all the cracks and pops in the oddest places…like my ankles and elbows. Seriously?  My husband, although he can’t say anything since he has his own crap, will just look at me and say in our jokingly way, “Looks like I’m going to have to trade you in for a younger model, babe.” My quick response,  “Just remember what a pain in the ass I was in my early 20s….enjoy that ALL OVER AGAIN with someone who’s not going to make your lunches for work and do your laundry. Yeah, what now?!?” Then we both go back to talking about our health and how we need to make doctor’s appointments and up our glucosamine intake. I totally thought that was for the elderly people waiting in line at the pharmacy.

The part that is bittersweet about getting older together is that my husband keeps getting better looking with age. I find that to be utterly unfair of the double standard in society how men just look more “refined” while we just need more help to make us look less old. For instance, Tom’s starting to get crow’s feet around his eyes and I think it’s hot, but if it were me I would burn a hole in my shoes racing to the closest Botox place I could find…which happens to be my mom who does that for a living. I know, totally cool right?!

“But I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So I’ll take getting older.” George Clooney

A couple of weeks ago, Tom and I were walking through the casino with the kids after a movie and two “young” women about my age (ha) walked by and totally checked him out and smiled. It was so obvious that my typically oblivious husband uncomfortably looked away and straight at me.  I just giggled and teased him then spanked him on the butt and said, “You still got it, babe!!’ And I could tell it made him feel good; and why shouldn’t it? It’s the same as if I got a second glance. After 10 years of marriage, it’s not crappy to have someone else think you’re attractive. No second thoughts about it, just a quick and harmless ego boost. And when someone checks out your husband it’s a feeling of, “Hell yeah, that’s MY man…AND the father of those kids in front of us. By the way, that was rude.”

About a year ago (yes, I’m still repeating this story) I was on cloud nine when a car full of teens drove by and one yelled “MILF” at me. As gross as that should have been to me, I was inappropriately flattered. Not to mention I had literally just been cleaning the toilets right before heading out the door to pick my daughter up from school. That was a highlight in my momhood and I’m fully aware that it’s pathetic and there should be a moment when it isn’t cool anymore, but the thrill hasn’t faded yet so I’m continuing to relish in it.

The fact that I’m just starting to feel (not mentally, but physically) older is weighing heavy on my mind lately. Is it because I am constantly on the go and my energy level is just naturally going to feel drained?  Maybe. Is it because I truly have issues in my bones? According to Web MD, it’s a definite possibility along with every cancer and disease out there.  Or is it simply a fact of life that as you get older, you start to be more aware of your body and want to preserve it and take the best care of it? Probably. I know, I know, 32 is still young….but if I feel this achy now I’m seriously petrified at how I’ll feel at 62. Will I be decrepit and/or debilitated? So because of these concerns we have decided to go vegetarian, WITH exceptions like cheese. I’m sorry, but I’m not ready for that fake stuff JUST YET.  Stay tuned and I’ll share a few tidbits of my journey in to this interesting new world…and see if it turns my 70  year aged body back to a tri-athletes.

Ok, maybe that was a bit too far. BACK to a normal 30ish year old body who’s a mother of two. That’s a start….


About sheuser7

I'm really loving this whole "writing about nonsense" nonsense; it's fun! My first blog 'Bienvenidos' is pretty much me in a nutshell so have a look and leave a comment if you could! :)

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