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To accept or deny…that is the question.

Getting a friend request from an old boyfriend or a crush you had at one point in your life is like a little gift. My immediate reaction: No way?! Does that prick seriously think I’m going to accept him? Then I think of the fact that I can see his pictures if I do….hmmmm…. So I ponder on it for a day or two. Clearly I would like to deny due to the way he treated me when we broke up and the only way to say “Screw you!” is through a big, fat DENIAL! That decision weighs heavy, wishing he was just public so I could see the mess of a life he has now without giving him the satisfaction of being his “friend”.

So I finally accept because the suspense is killing me and pray his wife is less than appealing and they have some pretty unattractive children together. So very non-Christian of me, I know. But I am only human with a damn good memory.

Then I quickly go to my pictures and delete some freakishly bad ones, change my profile pic to a cute one of me and my family on vacation, pour myself another cup of coffee and delve in to how my life could have ended up. And it’s like unwrapping a present. Thank you God for allowing him a camera to document his life!!

Hold on, quick mention of the fact that I dated two vatos in my early high school years, a smart yet arrogant track star, an attractive alcoholic and a judgmental brainiac in college. I couldn’t pick a type those years and apparently was all over the place trying to figure out who I was a good match for. None of them, apparently. Funny thing is, the vatos in the beginning were the ones I remember to be the nicest and most respectful to me and I’ve honestly wished nothing but good things for them. Now the other ones? I’ve envisioned a life of failure since I moved on and married my dream husband.

The pictures tell a story and I can’t help but see him the same way with his wife as he was with me and I feel bad for her. Does he make her feel like an idiot if she says the wrong thing? And since they have kids does he judge every move she makes with them? Does he undermine her in public?  Does he still have the driest, most cotton mouth kiss? Poor gal. I hope it’s better for her than it was for me.

I had one of them actually write me a long apology message about how bad he has felt over the years at how he treated me. I’m assuming it’s part of a 12 steps program since he had a booze problem. I thought it was nice of him to finally admit he had issues since there were times even years later that I had blamed myself for causing some of his explosions that haunted me.  Now if I still wished upon his demise, then I would have written back a lot of four letter words also including something along the lines of  ‘go to hell’, but since I have yet to hold a grudge with anyone in my life, I’m not starting with him. I had already forgiven him several years ago and since his message it’s become water under the bridge.

And as quick as I look through their lives, I then move on to the UNFRIEND button. Just. Like. That.

The last guy I dated before meeting my husband was an extremely smart Chemistry/PreMed student with straight A’s and a lot of volunteer lab work under his belt…causing me to have to pay for everything during the relationship. Broke ass. Towards the end of our relationship we were on a “break” while I tied one on for a girl’s road trip to Scottsdale, San Diego and Las Vegas to celebrate a few of our 21st birthdays; that’s when I met my soon to be husband. So I came back to Albuquerque in love and officially broke up with him. Four months later I moved to Las Vegas and started my life there without ever looking back.

HOWEVER, one day I got curious when he popped up in PEOPLE YOU MIGHT KNOW and I thought, “Why not?” and requested HIM….and got rejected immediately. Ouch. “How dare he reject me?” I was always a good girlfriend and practically kept him from starvation throughout that year and a half!

I’m assuming he rejected me because his life sucks now; otherwise I’m sure he would have been quick to add me to showcase where he’s at nowadays. And I’m going to keep believing that because I refuse to think that there might be someone in the world who is wishing upon MY demise or using four (and 5 ) letter words in regards to.  Am I the moment in his life that he tries to forget? Nah.

The moment I friend requested him is my biggest Facebook regret since opening my account. I told my husband about it and he thought it was funny and said he wouldn’t blame him. Sheesh, rough crowd.

So I’ve seen most of my exes and have come across some crushes, which all leads me to the conclusion of, “It takes alot of frogs….”


About sheuser7

I'm really loving this whole "writing about nonsense" nonsense; it's fun! My first blog 'Bienvenidos' is pretty much me in a nutshell so have a look and leave a comment if you could! :)

3 responses »

  1. Cotton mouth kisser? Ewwwww! That means his breath smelled. I can’t finish my coffee. Porasita.

  2. Again… You are awesome!


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