So my daughter woke up eeaaaarlyyyyy this morning asking us if the Leprechauns came. Huh? Have they ever visited our home before? As far as I know, St. Patrick’s Day comes and goes and I am practically unaware it was ever here. Thanks to the other kids at school my daughter now thinks something magical is supposed to happen like when the tooth fairy comes. Weren’t the elves at Christmas-time enough? My answer, “No honey. They don’t come to our house.” As she walked away disappointed, I turned back to my computer screen looking at my Facebook Newsfeed with pictures of green milk, practical jokes played on kids, green toilet water etc, etc, et friggin’ cetera I decided why the heck not? So I quietly grabbed the food dye and poured a few drops in the toilets and milk container. We drink almond milk so I wasn’t sure how that beige-y color would mix with the dye, but I figured it was worth a shot even if it came out looking like moss. Hhmmm, that was fun. What else should I do? Change out their drawers! Hide their shoes! Tie their shoelaces together! And that’s where my ideas stopped. Throughout the next 15 minutes I casually led the kids to “get dressed”. I went to the restroom and called the kids in. Fun was had by all and it made them so happy.
What I didn’t expect was that for the rest of today, both of the kids (mostly Roman) would point out things that were out of place blaming it on those “sneaky Leprechauns”. “MOM, look in your drawer! They made a huge mess!” “Wait, what? Um, oh yeah, it must have been those little guys again!” “MOM, they scratched the mirror! HURRY!” Nope, that would be streaks on the glass from my piss poor attempt at speed cleaning yesterday. “MOM, you have to come in here! Look at the floor in your closet!!” Ok, I’ll let them take the hit again. “MOM!! Look at what they did to the laundry room! The towels are thrown all over!” Sheesh. Can’t a woman throw another load in to the dryer without folding the previous one? “Those dang guys! I wish they would clean my house instead of make messes everywhere.” “MOM, look at the pots and pans in the cabinet!!” Man kids, where have you lived your whole life; under a rock? Observant, they are not. About an hour later, “MOOOOM!” (By this time it’s getting old and Roman is the only one who is still excited about it.) “ya, Roman.” “Look at the pictures in the office! They took them off the wall!” Ok, those suckers have been sitting there for about 4 months now since I took a picture out of each one for a school project of Carissa’s and have yet to fill in the blanks and hang the frames back up. “MOM, come look under your sink in the bathroom!!” “What did they do now?” “They knocked down all your boxes (tampons, liners)! SEE??” So now we’re starting to get nit-picky are we? Who has that stuff organized at all times? Sometimes it’s simply grab and go and let things fall where they may thinking, “I’ll get to it later.”
I’m not a filthy pig and quite enjoy organization, but man when it’s pointed out to you by your 4 and 6 year old it’s a huge wake up call. At least I can buy myself a few more years before I have to take the blame for my own messes. I think I’m going to start making up little trolls, fairies and other fantasy creatures just to continue having someone else take the fall throughout the whole year. “MOM, who made that mess in the kitchen?” “Oh, it must be those darn Spring Critters that come and wreck your house for no reason!” Yup, I think that’s what I’ll do.