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JUST PLUG YOUR NOSE AND EAT IT ALREADY!!!!

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Due to Tom’s Psoriatic Arthritis, aka psoriatic bullsh!zz, we’ve completely changed our way of eating. No, this is NOT going to be a preachy granola blah-blah-blah fest of judgmental mumbo jumbo that no one wants to hear, but just a few little moments of many that I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing since the change. Actually, not all of them are pleasurable, but I have to admit doing the “clean” eating (mine is more clean with a couple of junk piles lying around while Tom’s is spotless)  has been MUCH easier than I thought it would be; for me and Tom of course. Kids? On a scale of 1-10 Carissa’s at a 7 whereas Roman is at a 3.5.  And it’s not like the meals are crazy weird for them. They’re kids and I can’t expect them to be cool with eating raw spinach and whole grains so I might make them a little quesadilla with “real” cheese because there is no way on God’s green earth that I can avoid cheese in this house. They’re 4 and 6 for goodness sake and no child should be deprived! So with the self-proclaimed gourmet quesadilla I serve something like avocado and beans on the side. Roman’s response. “Beans again??” I need to get a little more creative in my bean cooking I guess. Beans, beans and more dang beans! Holy frijoles I don’t think I’ve eaten this many beans in the past 10 years than I have these last 6 weeks! Who knew there were so many different types of those tiny musical fruits? And yes, the tribute song to them is spot on.

     The recipes have been interesting to say the least. To be quite honest I have felt less pressure in making everyone happy at mealtime because chances are someone is going to complain. So I go through the same ol’ routine of, “This will give you big muscles and make you SUPER smart!” Then I move on to, “You haven’t even tried it yet so how do you know you don’t like it?” And then, “Do you know how many kids in this world who would LOVE to have a nice warm meal right this minute? MILLIONS!” And end with, “JUST PLUG YOUR NOSE AND EAT IT ALREADY!” This is us about 3 nights out of the week with the other 4 being slightly less dramatic. And heaven forbid we’re having the same thing as the night before since everyone had such small portions leaving us with a good deal of leftovers. Lucky them because now we get it two nights in a row!!  My trick is to add in a corn tortilla in a different form and put the food in or on top of it calling it something else. “We’re having tostadas tonight!” “Didn’t we have those last night?”  “No, those were tacos. Don’t you see the difference? Now bon appetit!”

  

THESE MADE THE TASTE TEST FOR NOW.

WHILE THIS DID NOT! (click link below for video)

Dinner failure

     Now the mornings are my favorite part of the day when I get to throw a bunch of stuff in a blender and drink my breakfast. Most of the time they’re fantastic, although sometimes Tom or I will get a little carried away and add too much of something that should never be consumed in a runny form, EVER! Like broccoli. If you want to know what a fart tastes like, blend broccoli. What? You’re not even curious? Lame. Well those are the moments when I practice what I preach, plug my nose and chug it down always fearing I might puke towards the end when I unplug my nose and get a taste. However, it doesn’t matter that it was truly awful, the fact that we’ve now made that mistake about a half dozen times shows either 1. We BOTH have issues with our memories meaning Ginko Biloba should be our next addition to our daily intake.  2. We like to taste fart. or 3. We are simply hoping for a better outcome each time. All I know is it’s not number 2. Wait, that’s funny to me. Why do I find that funny? I’m sorry that my humor is clearly of an adolescent boy.

So with the challenges also comes the cool part of learning. Learning that almonds and coconuts come in about a zillion things I would have never expected. Almond cheese for one. I have yet to try it, but it’s either going to be average or a little less than since no one can replicate cheese.  I can’t expect anything more than average tasting if it’s not the truly delicious, cow’s milk, sharp cheddar, greasy cheese I know and love. Yes, that is one thing I still haven’t given up. My answer to Tom if he ever asks? “Nana-nana boo-boo!” Not really, but my support continues as long as cheese is still occasionally on my plate.

A little sidenote:

But I do ask that if you see we’re starting to sport dreadlocks, smell of patchouli, walk barefoot to school pick-up or buy a VW van from 1968, hold an intervention and feed us a steak please. Thanks!

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About sheuser7

I'm really loving this whole "writing about nonsense" nonsense; it's fun! My first blog 'Bienvenidos' is pretty much me in a nutshell so have a look and leave a comment if you could! :)

One response »

  1. That was so cool! You cracked me up! The fart smoothie, THAT was hilarious!!!
    And please share some recipes! :))

    Reply

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