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I love you, Stinkerfartknockerface

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My kids say poop. And pee. And butt, fart, boogerface, fartknocker, stinkerfartknockerbutt and everything in-between. And it’s funny to us. In this house we ALL have the juvenile humor disorder. Yes, it’s considered “potty talk”, but in OUR house potty talk is as welcome as an other term of endearment such as sweetheart, love, honey pie, chimichanga face. Okay, that might just be my name, but you catch my drift.

So WHY can’t I own that OUTSIDE of the house? Why am I so quick to get red in the face when my son says in front of a few other moms, “It is so hot outside I think I might sweat out of my butt!” Inside I’m DYING laughing, but on the outside I tell him, “Roman! You can’t talk like that!”, totally pretending it’s not allowed. “Mom, that beetle is a stinkymockydoodydookybuttface!” You better believe I’ll let my kids take the blame on that one. “Where did you learn that word, Roman?” His response, “Well, it is.”  The other moms say nothing, but I assume that their kids would NEVER say that and due to the silence I’m probably right.

But am I, really? I know with my personality if the tables were reversed I would tell the other mom, “Don’t worry, my kids talk like that, too!” But are all moms willing to own that? I doubt it.

The rules are so different in every home. Some might not say butt, poop or fart, but they say stupid, shut up, hate, idiot, etc. Those words are BIG no-nos in our home and have been since I was a child.

A lot parents refer to the butt as a “booty”, which to me sounds like a bidonkdidonk butt from the rap videos. Or tushy, behind, bottom…blah, blah, blah. IT’S A BUTT! Why scootch around that word? It’s not a bad word people! Again, I understand that we all have our things. Like one mom who refers to going poop to her child as a BM. “Do you need to have a BM, so and so?” I almost laughed out loud, but I kept it in knowing that would be rude. A bowel movement? Seriously? They need to poop! And when my son is older he will probably refer to it as “dropping a deuce” which will make me laugh. Now my daughter?  We’ll see. Maybe just announcing it is where I draw the line with her. What do the “BM” people say for pee? “Honey, do you need to go urinate or have a bowel movement?” When I ask my kids it’s simple. “Poop or pee? I just need to know how long this will take.”

Alright, the word fart is a gross word in itself.  But what’s the alternative? I’ve heard them ALL! “Bubbles.” “Tooties.” “Blurp.” “Pass gas.” “Squeaks.” “Fizz.” We say, “P-U!! Who smells like a rotten egg?” And then we all laugh while someone rolls down the window. Still trying to find a word I feel comfortable for all of us to use.

So I’m trying to work on teaching the kids, “This is how we talk IN the home, but OUTSIDE of the home you can’t say those things.” Of course they ask, “Why?” “Because not everyone talks like that and might be hurt if you call them a ‘stinkydookynuggetbutt’. So just don’t say it.”

But really, are these words harming anyone? I’d take being called a ‘fartface’ over “I hate you you stupid idiot,” any day of the week!

So I’m asking, who’s kids can MY kids NOT offend while playing with? Let’s hang some time! 🙂


About sheuser7

I'm really loving this whole "writing about nonsense" nonsense; it's fun! My first blog 'Bienvenidos' is pretty much me in a nutshell so have a look and leave a comment if you could! :)

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